The upgrade gods smiled on the Good Doc and I today because we’ve been lifted-up to first class for our flight to Maui tomorrow. I always believe in starting a vacation off stress-free and one of the best ways of doing so is to fly First whenever possible.

So tomorrow I’ll be in the air and then the next day on the beach. Everyone have a great Christmas and a fabulous Hanukkah!

Perez Hilton is the gangsta’ of gossip, an Internet phenomenon who has rocked Hollywood and will stop at nothing to gain the latest, hottest celeb dish. He’s an out gay man who isn’t afraid to say it and he’s revolutionized the concept of Internet magazines by gaining a hugely loyal following and by not kissing ass to gain access. Perez is a star.

Perez will be in San Francisco December 31st hosting a party at The Clift and I’m going to be taking him to get his hair done that day, as well as showing him a bit of San Francisco hospitality. If he shares any hot gossip with me I’ll let you know!

After seeing the ridiculous pictures of smokers in Washington State dangerously forced to huddle on the double-yellow line in the middle of the road due to Washington’s new onerous anti-smoking ban I’ve come up with a good idea: ban smoking entirely.

The tobacco industry should submit a referendum to the people of Washington State to ban smoking and make those caught smoking or in possession of cigarettes face long prison sentences. By doing so it would force the anti-smoking zealots to come up with a counter-campaign talking about how much taxes on cigarettes actually contribute to public health programs, particularly for the poor and children. Make those whose real goal is the prohibition of tobacco speak out in defense of those they’ve enjoyed demeaning and demonizing for so long.

I said earlier the jihad against smoking in this country has gone way too far, ignoring far more serious threats to people’s health like particulate and ozone pollution, pesticide contamination and global warming, which will allow the spread of deadly tropical diseases like malaria to the Southern United States. But my solution to this problem is the easiest - ban smoking entirely. Give the anti-smoking Taliban their fondest wish, they may come to realize that what you wish for isn’t always what it turns out to be.

I’m all for worker’s rights, including the right to organize and strike, but I draw the line at an illegal strike over a minuscule issue like 1% of pension contributions. Public employees think they have the right to unlimited free health care without any contribution on their part, even something as insignificant as $15.00 per paycheck. I’ve never had a 100% employer-paid health care plan but then again I’ve never had a cushy government job either.

Defined pension plans are an anachronism but are still the standard for government workers. Every time any government entity broaches the subject of maybe imposing a 401k-type system on government workers they scream like stuck pigs. Why are 401k plans good enough for the private sector but not for the government?

New York’s public transportation workers are striking illegally and they, their leaders and union should all be heavily fined individually and collectively. If they don’t go back to work by Friday then they deserve to be jailed and if they don’t go back to work by next Friday I hope every single one of their lazy asses are fired.

Being as busy as I was in Portland I didn’t have time to really watch the news. So after returning to San Francisco last night I was a bit disheartened to hear about Bush’s latest attempt to further curtail the constitutions’s protections by authorizing spying on American citizens without judicial overview. Even worse was watching Condoleeza Rice’s pathetic attempts to invoke “executive privilege” as cover for this blatantly unconstitutional attempt at Soviet-style citizen thought control.

One of the worse aspects of this incredibly bad administration is the wreckage of previously well thought of Americans that it leaves behind, the flotsam and jetsam of the Republican tidal wave as it were. By that I mean people like Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice. Two citizens who before they took up positions in the Conservative Cabal that passes for an American government were both highly respected and well thought of in both government, military and academic quarters.

Now they’ve debased themselves and everything they’ve worked so hard for by shuckin’ and jivin’ to whatever drumbeat is emerging from the White House that particular day. Remember Colin Powell’s “Rivers of Anthrax” speech in front of the UN Security Council? And now comes Condoleeza Rice, a former Dean at Stanford, who will stop at nothing to try and justify every attempt by this administration, no matter how egregious or illegal, to gather the information it decides it needs to continue this quixotic “War on Terror.”

Does she have any shame? Is there no sense of any obligation to this country or the Constitution that surpasses that which she holds to the Bush Administration? Is there nothing that Condoleeza will not say to justify yet another absurd lie on behalf of the Republican cabal in the White House? So far the President has claimed the right to hold American citizens in jail for as long as he sees fit, without charges or trials and now he claims he can order any security agency to spy on any American, whenever he wants and again without any judicial or legislative oversight, and this Condoleeza claims, is “constitutionally” authorized.

I used to feel sadness when watching Powell and Rice, now I just feel disgust and shame.

I barely made it back from Portland tonight. Icy, snowy weather in Oregon combined with the crazy-ass storm we had in San Francisco meant I arrived back here 5 hours later than I should have. I thought I was going to be stuck in Portland and have to stay at some hotel in god-forsaken downtown. Thanks God for the wonders of de-icer because if it wasn’t for that green, toxic-looking shit my ass would be stuck in Oregon right now.

And was it cold there? Yes, fucking really, really cold. Like the low was 16 degrees and the high was 25. Two weeks ago in San Francisco it got down to 40 and we had special news teams out on the street interviewing people.

We leave for Maui in 6 days. After my near-freezing experience in Portland I’m looking forward to this even more than before.

One of my favorite guilty pleasures is scrolling through the list of search names that brings people to my blog. “Tara’s Tit” is understandable because I wrote a treatise on that very subject and with that title line, but why “Down, Down, Down Trance?” I like dirty trance, yes, but really all kinds of trance and more recently my musical tastes have shifted to soulful house and lounge music ala: Miguel Migs.

Anyway, I was pleased to find that people are finding their way to my blog by entering the name of my arch-nemesis: Moises Aceves. See, Moises is the pudgy, bitchy one-generation-removed-from-Mexican-illegal-immigrants Latina that I had the bad luck and even poorer judgement to host at my house earlier this year. Moises is studying Urban Planning or Design at the esteemed UC Irvine, where he lives with his boyfriend, who is a friend of my boyfriend and hence the fact that Moises was staying at our home in San Francisco.

Moises was so offended that I asked him about the bumper stickers on his car (”War is NOT the answer!” & “Latina Pride”) that he wrote me a very long, poorly written and grammatically insulting (I know he was only born on this side of the border after a particularly difficult chase by the Border Patrol, when his pregnant mamasita birthed him on the side of the road like an alley cat dropping its litter, but still, you’d think someone who attends even a shit-hole like Irvine could speak proper English) e-mail. And this after we paid for their dinner!

So please Gods of Google, send more readers to my site looking for information on that bloated shitbag Moises Aceves, even feel free to have them send me e-mails. I’ve got lots more stories I can share about ol’ Moises and I am EAGER to tell.